By Faith and Not by Sight

The Lord has been steadily transforming my heart so that I might trust in Him more completely... Here are some of the ways that our Sovereign Lord has been recently sanctifying me...

It is interview season for fourth year medical students. We are all in the process of interviewing for residency programs, where each of us will continue our medical training in the field of our choice. I have chosen to become a pediatrician, so I am interviewing for pediatric residency spots all over the country. The residency "match" process is much like sorority rush in a sense: fourth year medical students interview and rank their top choices/programs, the programs themselves make up a list of students whom they would like to offer positions in their programs to, and a computer system goes through both sets of lists and matches students with programs. This process is often a struggle for me because it sometimes feels that I don't have control over where I will end up next year. This is not actually the case; the "match" is truly in favor of the students versus the programs, and a high percentage of students applying to pediatric residencies end up with one of their top three choices. That being said, there is obviously an element of this process that is out of my hands, and that is where satan (I refuse to capitalize his name) is able to get into my head and start causing me to stress.

The Lord has been teaching me much about trusting in His sovereignty throughout this process. I can do much on my end to impress the residencies at which I'm interviewing and to "sell myself" as some like to describe it, but at the end of the day it is the Lord who directs my steps and lays out my path. "In his heart a man plans his course, but it is the Lord who directs his steps," Proverbs 16:9. As I've traveled around the country and interviewed at several programs over the past few weeks, I've often heard Jeremiah 29:11 running through my mind; the verse comes out of nowhere in the middle of an interview day, and I smile because I'm reminded of God's grace in two ways. First, in the promise that Jeremiah 29:11 holds for believers, and second, by the sheer fact that that verse pops into my mind. That is not a coincidence; that specific verse being brought into my conscious thought during an interview day is the Lord's faithfulness in action! "'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a hope and a future," Jeremiah 29:11. 


Jesus has brought to mind many more verses of reassurance and love besides Jeremiah 29:11 over these past few weeks. 1 Corinthians 2:9 is a favorite: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him." What excitement that verse is able to stir up in my heart! God has wonderful things in mind for ME!! I am also hugely encouraged by 2 Corinthians 12:9: "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." What an incredible promise, that no matter how weak and prideful and sinful and doubtful I am throughout this interview process, His grace covers me and His power is made perfect in my weaknesses! My imperfections cannot and will not hinder His plan for me! Amen to the second part of that verse, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power might rest on me."


I think that the Lord is also using this process to remind me to walk by faith. I have no choice at this point. I can only do my best on my interview days and hope and pray that the programs that I like like me in return. I know that I will most likely be moving from Mobile in May, but I have no idea where I will be moving to and I won't know until the middle of March (the day that we find out where we've matched at and where we'll be going for residency also happens to be the day before I leave for a month-long medical mission trip to Rwanda...). I will have about four weeks to find a place to live in the city that I'm moving to and then only a few weeks after graduation to get my stuff moved out of Mobile and into my new home before I have to prepare to begin life as a pediatrician. With such a packed and largely unknown schedule ahead of me, it's easy to fret and stress over the details. But that's where the "walking by faith" thing comes in. It is a minute-by-minute discipline, to remember to give the stress and anxiety over the unknowns in my future to God and to remind myself that with Christ, all things are possible (Philippians 4:13). The Lord is teaching me to trust and walk by faith just as He did with Abraham in the Bible. "By faith Abraham, when he was called, obeyed by going out to a place which he was to receive for an inheritance; and he went out, not knowing where he was going," Hebrews 11:8. 

"We live by faith, not by sight," 2 Corinthians 5:7. 

Jeremy Camp sang a song called "Walk by Faith" which never fails to encourage me. The words are written below, along with a post of the song from Youtube.

Would I believe You when You would say
Your hand will guide my every way
Will I receive the words You say
Every moment of every day

Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see
Well because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me

Help me to win my endless fears
You've been so faithful for all my years
With one breath You make me new
Your grace covers all I do

Well I'm broken- but I still see Your face
Well You've spoken- pouring Your words of grace

Well hallelujah, hallelu
(I will walk by faith)
Well hallelujah, hallelu
(I will walk by faith)

I will walk, I will walk, I will walk by faith
I will, I will, I will walk by faith